You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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