Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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