Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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