Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
