He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
