i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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