okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
