You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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