The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
