Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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