Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
