At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
