My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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