a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
