I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
