a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
