At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
