Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
