I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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