I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
