East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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