I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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