FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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