Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
