i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
