the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
