just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
