How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
please don't ironically join a cult
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