but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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