So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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