turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
worst night to have a conscience
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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