totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize