You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
