I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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