I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
