Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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