So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So much Jack, so little girl.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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