like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
