It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
