if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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