We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
