I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
