We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sarcasm needs its own font
i came on her dog
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In other news, I just burned my penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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