Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize