The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
