dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
