i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize