sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
