I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
