hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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