found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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