At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
