Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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