And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I love having hate sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
