He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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