You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
