He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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