see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
