I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
