Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
