I'm drive I can fine osifer
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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