have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His nipple licking is glorious
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