you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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