and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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