I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize