I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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