Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
