drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
