Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
