No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
