Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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