I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize