it wasn't lemon gatorade
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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