I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This is my gift to your gina
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
