It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
