That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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