So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize