My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
