I want to have your abortion
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
