Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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