The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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