I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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